In Need of…


Something different, change, excitement, newness, rediscovery, beauty, love, life, sadness, tears, joy, etc. My heart strings are calling for adventure. I am too young to feel “settled” into a loop of school, meaningless work, and subpar social experiences. I feel like a middle aged man who is stuck in the 9-5 rat race, only I am twenty years younger and with much less money. If life is meant to be truly lived, I am not “doing” it right. For the lack of better terminology, I am dissatisfied with my day-to-day living situation. There is nobody to blame nor do I desire to point the finger in any one direction anyway. I simply need more engaging and challenging activities to allow my self the chance to grow. I need newness again. I need to overcome various diversities I am yet to be confronted with. I want to be challenged in ways that I have never been. I would love to backpack around the world or something akin to that. At the least, I want to be able to simply “get up and go” at any given time, with or without a formal reason other that because “it’s time.” Life is too short to be bored. That is a poor excuse for not putting yourself “out there.” I cannot spend X number of years wasting my youth in sacrificial commitment to earning some degree at university. I ought to embark on the adventure hat is to be the rest of my life, however cliche that may sound. I am envisioning what Paulo Coelho described in “The Alchemist.” I want to discover myself, and rediscover myself continually. I want to find hidden treasure and beauty in spots I would never have even considered. I want to bear witness to the good, the bad and the ugly – the raw truth of the world. I want to see both life and death, both light and darkness and everything else in between. This is to say, I am ready now more than ever to commit to life in all of its awesomeness. I mean this in a completely genuine sense, not to appeal to someone’s senses or sound hip or catchy. I could care less about what society urges me to do, even what my family thinks, because I am the sole entity responsible for living my own life. If my life is regrettable, there is but one person to fault. If my life is absurdly amazing, I too would be responsible. I aim to fall in the latter category, as it were. There could be any number of excuses as to why I might keeping going in the direction my life has been taken in recent years. This is to say I could take the path of relative ease and comfort, taking classes and working a bit, until further notice. However, if without a better reason, this is simply “too easy.” I cannot honestly say to myself I believe I am doing all I could possibly be doing to get the most out of each and every day. At this stage in the game, I want nothing more than variance, I desire instability, I want to be uncomfortable and constantly forced to go with the flow. There is not much that gets my blood flowing more than the conception of becoming a full time wanderer. I would love my job title to read “full-time nomad.” I want to be a citizen of the world, a man without a country and a possessor of a busy passport. However I afford myself the pleasure of selling off my worldly possessions and traveling far and wide remains to be seen. I do know that at some point, this dream will become a reality. I cannot accept anything less.

Cheers mates,

-Paul

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