The 9th of March


I’m so tired of being alone, so tired of being on my own (Al Green). My life needs some more jazz. I feel as though, however content I may be with the recent changes in my life – primarily transferring to Uni in North Carolina – there is a sensation of something missing. I am simultaneously satisfied and dissatisfied. I need a job, for one, and I still am yearning more friendships and an upbeat social life. I hate going out alone, because more often that not, I end the night alone as well. This is not to say I need to get laid every night, but I wouldn’t mind hanging out with some female company. Granted staying the night with Nicole is nice and all, and I need to ask her out formally, I desire a more developed social circle, which would obviously include friends of both sexes and varied interests.

I feel that beginning school midway through the year puts me at a disadvantage here since not everybody is looking for new friends and clubs have already been formed. I hope I will meet a lot of people at whatever job I may land, and from there several new friendships will spring up. Until then, I will attempt to put myself out here more than usual, and make a conscious effort to meet people and introduce myself to new faces and so forth and so on.

I do wish I could see Sirius soon, but that does not seem very likely. If only he could come down on his Spring Break – that would be nice. I do not want to drive all the way to Jersey if I can help it, but I will have to sat some point; most likely this May in the summertime.

More or less, I just need stuff to do. Hanging out at Java Dog is all well and good until a couple of hours go by and the day is still in its infancy. I can only watch so many films in a week anyway and I do not want to day drink on a Tuesday or anything like that – especially by my lonesome. I need to find a hookup for some quality, fairly priced herb to kill some time and jam out to music and write verses or something. That would be cool. Other than that, I need to meet up with other humans for social activities. Basketball is fun, but again it is not an all day event and seems to be a hit or miss thing, especially when playing outdoors in a park somewhere. When it is 60 plus and sunny I want to ball outside, so I may have to just shoot around, but at least I am in the sun and having some fun. I am tired of being cooped up indoors, granted the college has great facilities, I prefer breathing in fresh air at any rate.

I think as far as the job situation goes, landing the dog care position should work out, but if not, forming an odd jobs business would be ideal. That way I could totally control my hours, and get paid tax free cash or personal check until I can find a real job or build that up to nearly full time. I am more than willing to do house sitting, child and/or pet care, landscaping, handyman type of work, furniture moving or assembly and things of that nature. That could really turn profits if I market myself intelligently but that would most likely be primarily word of mouth. Again, making things hard for a newcomer to the area.

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2 thoughts on “The 9th of March”

  1. “I’m so tired of being alone, so tired of being on my own.” – you say. Do I know this from own experience?…

    I have been pondering this subject my whole life. This is after all, an insoluble matter, but here is what I have found out through own examination

    Even if it seems differently, it´s not loneliness which is the issue here: What you´re actually tired of is thwarting yourself, vainly resisting to delve into your loneliness. That is, YOU´RE RESISTING TO KNOW YOURSELF in that aloneness. “There is a sensation of something missing”, is You missing a deeper and wholesome connection with yourself. The True You…

    Trying to get rid of loneliness is as futile as trying to get rid of your shadow…

    Really, it is maybe discouraging to realize, but there is No one on this planet who can return you to yourself, unless you do it. That is, getting to explore and unravel the secret of your loneliness…

    As far as women are concerned, you will see that the more you “catch up with yourself” – that is with that unknown lonely you – the less effort you will need to kind of put yourself on the market. 🙂 Instead, they will instantly feel your being anchored in yourself, and suddenly they will be attracted…

    The only true satisfaction derives from self-knowledge. From taking the trouble of observing and investigating oneself in loneliness…that´s true strength…So when you exude that rare satisfaction of delivering your true Self to you, you will witness how things will begin to move by themselves around you. YOy will learn to recognize when you are to rest and when to act.

    So be it!

    Liked by 2 people

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