Once again I find myself attempting to pass the time alone. I cannot even enjoy my thoughts as they are far lost somewhere beneath my realm of consciousness if there at all. Well of course thoughts are there, but I am not acquainted with them. Thanks medication, thanks depression, thanks so much.
I do not even have tears to cry anymore, nor do I have a reliable friend whom I could count on to have their shoulder to weep on no matter what time of day or night. Yes, I live alone, which is hardly living at all. I mean, I live with my parents, I have a few friends, but I am oh so alone. Humans are social beings, and its not that I am anti-social, but rather, I just do not have people to talk with.
Yeah, sorry this is kinda lame, sad but whatever, its true. Part of the reason for making this here blog was to let things out, so that is precisely what I am doing – sorry I do not have a friend to do this personally with. Honestly, at times it seems I talk more to people virtually than in person. Not good!
But why? Why am I alone? Maybe because I am not the most outgoing person in the world, but I talk, I am friendly, I try to make conversation, and so forth and so on. I just do not get it.
And this is really lame, but it seems I have just lost another friend, whom I really liked. She deleted what I tried to say to her online nor does she answer my calls so – I guess that is that.
Sorry for the sob story,