I love when people tell me I look miserable!


I mean, there typically is some truth to this, but it is still unsettling to have people notice, and then point it out in public!  Like jeez, thanks so much for noticing, have an excellent day.  Jesus Christ!

Anyway, I am currently at Barnes and Noble writing for a change (of scenery) – although I am guilty of passing most of the day at Starbucks already…Regardless of location, I figure I mine as well get some writing out of me considering I have spent the day by myself for one, and have things to say for two.

I feel like I ought to start writing about my predicament with psychiatry at large, for there was a post today that sort of reminded me this kind of writing in the blogosphere is more than due.  I suppose anytime is the right time, but then again what is time anyway?  🙂

Before I do however let me take a moment to discuss a bit of what Julien popped into my mind.  That is, is it possible to be happy in such an unhappy world?  This is a question that greatly troubles me, as it should everyone as far as I am concerned.  There is little doubt in my mind that the world is more ugly than beautiful, sad than happy, and cold than comforting or warm.  So if this is the case, can individuals truly be happy?  I mean, with all the death and destruction occurring daily, how is it that some people can continue on with a grand old smile on their face?

Well, let’s see here.  I guess a lot of this has to do with one’s theories or ideology concerning happiness and well-being.  I certainly have clues or thoughts to mine, though no formal theories quite yet.  More or less, I am unsure from experience and have a guess as far hypothetically speaking.

I read…quite a bit.  Over the years, during the course of my continuing struggles with depression, I have read lots of psychology and more recently philosophy.  I have grown to accept depression as an existential crisis.  At least, this is the case for me.  My Uncle Duncan declares his depression a spiritual problem – which I cannot dispute for either his or my case although I think he might be referring more towards or at least in part to finding a religion, while I tend to differentiate spirituality and am not seeking to subscribe to any formal religion per say.  However, I do find depression to be a spiritual problem – maybe that is just another way of putting it.  For me, I refer to the human spirit – although I am not exactly sure how to put it into words or even describe it all that well other than saying I know “it” is there, it exists, and I have one, and so forth and so on.

Thus, for me, depression could be very likely considered suppression of the human spirit by oneself, a sort of mental self-mutiny if you will.  Think about it – depression seems to me to involve a condition where outward expression is severely limited if not terminated and all the angst is kept or even turned inward.  Of course this all puts a tremendous amount of pressure and turmoil on oneself.  Hence the depression that ensues.  Inability to express or, more accurately, perceived inability for oneself to express can be manifested as depression.

This is truly a paradigm shift in the way we think about depression and mental health in general, for we would move from a science to a philosophical oriented approach.  We would actually treat the condition in other words, instead of making up physical imbalances to legitimize drugging innocent victims.  Yes these are strong words, and yes I feel strongly about this.  I know I am right, not to sound cocky, but because I have done immense research and have come to this conclusion slowly and only after years of not only personal experience, but relating to others, reading formal studies, and reading countless articles, journals and books.  Let me clarify, I know I am correct in saying depression is not a physical disease.  There may be physical consequences or manifestations, effects, but there is no such thing as a brain chemical imbalance that is either proven or with effectively proven treatment.

This may be a bombshell, as this all goes against the grain of the medical model, but the truth is sometimes, as it seems more frequently, becoming revolutionary.

Depression is a condition I suppose, a dis-order, where some things, IN LIFE – hence existential crisis – are out of balance.  So I will try to refer to it as such from now on, if I have failed to do so previously.

By now, my issue with the medication should become obvious.  How can anyone treat a nonexistant illness?  You simply cannot treat a nonphysical “illness” with medication.  This is simple logic.  For those whom are unaware, the so called medical model is very deceiving as the model is based on pure theories!!!  That means they are NOT proven!  I am sorry if this makes the reader angry, but you should be for this practice is atrocious.

There is so much more to say, but I need to take a break for a second so bear with me.  I think I have given readers ample things to consider.

PLEASE COMMENT!

Thank you!

-Paul

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2 thoughts on “I love when people tell me I look miserable!”

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